Al-Qaeda's Secret Plan to Hijack the Internet

Okay. So I'm sure that all of you have heard the recent controversy over the decision to try accused terrorist and all-around shithead Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in an American court of law.

Well, the other day I was perusing an issue of the Economist (how erudite of me!) while Joelle was poking around the library. In this issue was a brief blip about this controversy and a picture of the subject. This picture:



Well, as I gazed upon the face of evil something seemed very familiar about it. I felt like I had seen it before in the course of my wanderings about the internet... And that's when it struck me! "O RLY?" I exclaimed, slapping my forehead as realization came through.



The ORLY Owl! I know they don't look similar at first glance, but to me the resemblance was uncanny. I downloaded the picture and ran it through some advanced imaging software (MS PAINT) on my mainframe (HP Desktop.) I was able to pull this image out of the digital code (or some other fancy sounding, CSI lingo):



"Unbelievable," I thought, "The terrorists have been able to corrupt something as American as Apple Pie- our crazy internet fads!!!" What could fall next before the crafty hands of these devilish deviants? And then I realized the answer was right in front of me... the American Justice System!

Somehow these fanatical freaks have found a way to make us doubt the very code of justice that purports to be the blind adjudicator of good and evil in our society. Everyday we hear talking heads warning us of the perils of trying a murderous piece of garbage in an American Court of Law. How silly we've been became crystal clear as conservative pundits explained the facts to me. How can we reasonably expect our judicial system to give a fair trial to this monster? How can we feel safe when our inadequate prison system is housing this cave-dwelling maniac?

Okay, I have to switch gears... some vitriol spilled on my keyboard as I was typing the above. The shakes of it is that we, as a free Democratic society, have an established legal system. Does it have flaws? You're damn skippy it does. However, it is our system and it is as fair and impartial as anything run by imperfect people can be. I think that we should cherish the idea of taking this evil person and showing that American Justice can be swift and severe.

Does part of me wish that we could just find him immediately guilty by public acclaim and then allow the mob to render him to pieces? YES!!! But that rage-filled part of me is an animal that is not much better than the scum at which my rage is directed.

I think an important part of post-9/11 America has not just been the fight to secure our borders and debilitate our foreign enemies, but also the fight to not lose what makes us the beacon of freedom in the world. Someone told me that, by giving this filth a public, fair trial, we're going to show the world that we are weak. I disagree. I think it shows the world that we are better than those that wish to do us harm. That we can respect human life, even when it doesn't deserve it. Will a few embarrassing facts about how this scum was treated come out in the trial? Yes, they probably will. But we atone for those entirely understandable tactics by, in the end, giving Khalid Sheikh Mohammed the fair trial that he hasn't earned, and the swift and painless death that he denied his victims. We're America, goddammit. We're better than this.

And as for the terrorist plot for the internet.. be careful. I've heard that they already have plans for the LolCats.

If anyone is listening...

If anyone is still around for these, I have what I believe will be a good one in a few days. If you're reading this, thanks for sticking around.

All Sales Final

So after a lengthy text message discussion with a friend this morning (that started about politics but ended in guns, as any conversation between cops should) I saw this at the local 7-11 and thought that it summed everything up perfectly.

It seems that the shiny veneer has worn off of our new toy (or the blueing off of our pistol, if you will) and Obama fever has ended amongst the fervent. Hell, even the birth certificate/secret Muslim conspiracy theorists have moved on to issue-based crusades.

So now that the new car smell has worn off, what are we left with? A president, and not that bad of one. Sure he's no FDR or Reagan, but he seems to have a solid head on his shoulders and the country seems to be moving forward.

Am I disappointed that many of the Obama campaign promises haven't been met? Sure I am, but I'm not surprised. He's a politician, not a magician and not a rockstar. If McCain had won I'm sure that right about now Conservatives would be feeling about the same as current Liberals are. Except for Glenn Beck... He might not have had a nervous breakdown.

Do I regret voting for Obama? Not in the least. I never thouht that he was going to be the nation's, or the party's, savior. I do find it ridiculous that, as the honeymoon phase reaches its sunset, conservative talking heads are claiming that it's the death knell of the liberal movement. Every president goes through this...

Anyway, I thought it was a really funny sign.

Feline/Culinary Disaster

You can see why it was no surpirse when I accidentally spilled chili on the cat.

Fortunately we Scotch-Guarded him when we first got him.

The Gruesome Twosome

The dogs at work. They will not stop until one has a concussion or furniture breaks.

P.S.

A bit of a misnomer because Google will place this above the last post, but I forgot that I wanted to add one thing.

A week or two ago we were dispatched to a domestic violence where the boyfriend had thrown a bottle of mustard at the complainant. Though I found it appropriate to joke that he may have just mistaken her for a Ballpark Frank, a senior officer made the valid point that at least it hadn't been ketchup. Imagine being the first officer on the scene and seeing a woman covered in a red, bloody mess... You'd be screaming for an ambulance until her 4 year old daughter came up and dipped a french fry in it.

So It's Been Awhile, but Not That Long

The gap from my last post to this is a little over a month... that's not bad seeing as this "blog" has gone on over 6 month hiatuses (hiati?) in the past.

I don't know that I necessarily have anything of value to contribute today, every once in awhile I just feel the urge to write something... I wish I had the drive to actually be an active blogger on something interesting like politics. I enjoy the process and enjoy the end result, I just never seem to have the motivation to take on the Herculean task of planting my ass in a chair and pressing some buttons.

So the news I did just get, as minor as it may be, is that I will in fact be switching to the midnight shift in January... when it's cold. Though disappointed to be leaving the dayshift people that I have become friends with, I am positively delighted to be going to midnights. More fun happens on the Highway at night.... and I had 6 arrests in 4 days during the day!!!

Speaking of fun, while responding to a burglary in progress (at least what it was dispatched as, it turned out to be pretty much nothing) with lights and siren ablazin' I hit 100mph on Rt1. Now that's titillating! I did, however, almost catch my brakes on fire.... They were smokin' to beat the band (emphasis added to emphasize the old fashioned-ness) by the time I stopped at the perimeter.

Let's see here.... We got a new dog. He's pretty kickass. I added a second tie-out in the backyard today, though, and they have already managed to get stuck together three times. Entertaining for me, but not so fun for them.

Well that's about all I have for now. All my thoughts are with the families and victims of the slaying at Ft Hood. I hope that the media takes the high road and doesn't make the fact that the shooter was a Muslim the most important part of this. Of course I say this in a world where CNN Headline News (which I think is trying to replace E! News) and Fox News are still considered legitimate broadcast media so I'm not going to get my hopes up.

¡Pasta Luego!