Unfortunately, the spare key that I keep hidden outside was not outside because Joelle's key was bent the other night.
Did panic ensue? Hell no! Luckily I had some booze in me (trend, anyone?) and I was calm as a cuke. I scaled my truck, banged my nuts on the railing, and tried the door on my balcony. Locked. Damn (and my balls hurt.)
I then went around to the back yard to see if I could pick the lock to the slider. Not happeneing. So what did I do?
Well, my aching balls and I broke down the door between the house and the garage. It took several hits with my shoulder, but I let myself back in.
And what was the first thing I did upon gaining entry? I put the outside key back in its hiding spot.
Now I'm off to dinner and possibly to ice my balls.
Oh, and because i'm not sure that I .mentioned it enough, balls.
And I get pepper sprayed tomorrow (hooray!).
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4 comments:
God does not like you breaking and entering therefore you will be pepper sprayed tomorrow. Oh yeah it was on the schedule for quite awhile but you just didn't know that God had you locked out on his schedule. That's some funny shit.
I think you mean forcible entry... Isn't breaking and entering for bad guys?
Remember what happened the last time you were locked out and you tried to open the door with your shoulder?
Ok, so let me get this gay.
You made a lot of noise trying to get into your house. No doubt your neighbors were staring at you with looks of disdain, while hiding behind their curtains.
THEN you take your extra key and put it in under your "secret" hiding place. Great. Now all your bumtastic street fellows know how to get into your house and molest you.
BALLS.
Did he say "under" the secret hiding place? No, I think not. We're a LITTLE smarter than the ol' doormat trick, Mr. Russell.
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